There’s Someone Inside Your House - Movie Review

Critics Score - 2 of 10

General Audience Score - 4 of 10

Every season we get a few movies that fall into the standard genres, in October we get some scary and creepy films and in the thanksgiving/Christmas season we usually get some heartwarming family dramas. This season doesn't disappoint, we've already gotten Halloween Kills, next week Last Night In Soho and Antlers drop into theatres, then King Richard comes out right before thanksgiving. But Netflix needed to have a season friendly movie and so a couple weeks back we got There's Someone Inside Your House, hereafter referred to as TSIYH, a film that the Producers of Stranger Things and The Conjuring threw together so they could have a slasher movie to drop in time for Halloween. This film is short and paced fairly well at just over an hour and a half, but trying to find many more positive points about it to discuss will be quite the challenge. Make it your aim to steer clear of this one if at all possible, watching it will make you wish There’s Someone Inside Your House to put you out of your misery.

SYNOPSIS - This highschool theatre production begins with a predictable bit of bloodshed, a jock football player returns home and takes a nap only to wake up and fall victim to every murder victim trope ever. He literally follows a trail of “breadcrumbs” into a closet where our killer, instead of teaching him a life lesson and helping this young man rethink some of his past actions, takes it upon himself to be the judge, jury and finally executioner of our dim witted victim. On we move to our main group of semi-outcast seniors sitting around a makeshift memorial for the deceased and up walks the new kid Makani (Sydney Park), that has a mysterious past and somber mood. Around the table we have Alex (Asjha Cooper) the standard sassy black girl, Zach (Dale Whibley) the rich white kid that smokes weed, Darby (Jesse LaTourette) the NASA loving token LGBTQ representative and Rodrigo (Diego Josef) one of the last two ethnic minorities available so the film could get some good racial representation. Soon they’re all getting high in a SUV in a scene that has no relevance to anything plot related, then we go spend some time with Makani and her grandmother before we’re off to the next murder. This one happens in a church! 

Once we’ve witnessed enough teenagers die and our minds have turned back on after disengaging with our bodies, it was probably keeping itself busy playing solitaire or something while your eyes were on the TV,  we’ve learned that anybody can make a movie. You don’t need great actors and performances, screenwriters constantly revising the script, a director that knows what he’s doing or anything else that would make the film an enjoyable experience. The twist ending that comes right on cue is less about being a well designed, intellectually crafted surprise and more about a random, roll of the dice, “this guy did it and nobody could see it coming” type of calculation. While I won’t say the cast was terrible, they were very young and did a mediocre job at pulling any pieces of this very poor screenplay together in any cohesive way. But if you turn on the TV and just want to see some blood splatter, you’ll get a decent bit of gore, but not in a very interesting way and ultimately your time will be better spent with one of the classic gorefests that will surpass TSIYH in virtually every way.

SUMMARY - This movie feels like Netflix needed another Halloween/October scary movie (although it’s not scary in the slightest) to put on it's slate and asked for some of the producers it worked with to give them the best they had. Then an hour later at the board room meeting someone pitches TSIYH and there wasn't anything better, so it go the green light. Bottom line is, don't let this Someone Inside Your House this Halloween, because in virtually every possible way a film can be, There’s nobody home.