Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny - Movie Review

Critics Score - 3 of 10

General Audience Score - 7 of 10 

The Indiana Jones franchise is one that children from the 1980’s, which I am one of, usually know well and is generally beloved by. I just watched Raiders Of The Lost Ark and The Last Crusade with my children this week in preparation for the new film and despite some out of focus shots and the fabulous but terribly dated claymation sequences, the films hold up incredibly well and the perceived flaws just add to their charm and character. The new entry into the Indiana Jones saga, The Dial Of Destiny, is devoid of both these characteristics, the new film which has been airbrushed and glossed over after being run through the Disney machine, which produced the film in a joint effort with Paramount, just doesn’t feel like it’s in the same series. Despite the films efforts to make the film a fun trip down nostalgia lane, most of these efforts are wasted, misguided and or squandered, but the film serves perfectly fine as a generally decent action and adventure movie on its own, taken as a stand alone film for general audiences. But lovers of the original Indiana Jones films that choose to spin this Dial with any kind of a critical eye will find their Destiny to be pretty dismal.

SYNOPSIS - This hopefully final entry into the series begins with a flashback of a man with a bag over his head being dragged out the back of a vehicle by men in Nazi uniforms, there are bombs falling and exploding on buildings nearby. But after being taken inside a building, the hood is pulled off and a digitally age-reduced Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is left to criticize and mock Colonel Weber (Thomas Kretschmann) as the Allies destroy the part of Berlin they’re in and the remains of the Nazi empire crumbles around them. The only reason the Nazis probably put the bag on his head is to save Disney from paying a couple million dollars to add crappy de-aging CG work to that minute or two, but on the flip side it also saves the audience from having to see it. Come to think of it, a bag on the head might be the best way to watch this film. Anyway, after Weber orders for Indiana to be taken upstairs, a Nazi artifact historian Dr. Voller (Mads Mikkelsen) is introduced, they’re preparing a train loaded with a bunch of stolen loot from the Nazi’s plundering and Voller is one of the key players orchestrating their removal from Berlin. Indiana escapes, they all wind up aboard the express train where one of Indiana’s associates, Basil (Tobey Jones) has already been taken, also where half of the movie’s secretive device, the dial of Archimedes, is being held. There’s some chases and fights, naturally, but nothing can stop Indiana Jones, not even when he’s standing on top of a speeding train after defeating all the bad guys, even a solid thirty mile a hour wind isn’t enough to blow that hat off his head.

When we finally catch up with the “modern day” Indiana Jones, not the digitally restored rendering of him, the first thing we see is a shirtless Harrison Ford laying back in a recliner in his living room, a directorial decision we all could’ve lived without. The year is 1969, he’s awakened by some kids in a downstairs apartment who begin blasting some music because the United States just landed on the moon. He grabs a baseball bat and the now old curmudgeon Indiana, which is maybe not too far off the actual Harrison Ford persona, heads down to yell at and give these young whippersnappers a piece of his mind. But later that day after his retirement from his work as a professor, he meets up with Basil’s daughter Helena (Phoebe Waller-Bridge). After Dr. Voller is revealed to still be alive, him and some of his goons start coming after Indiana Jones, why they never bothered to track him down in the twenty-five year between the train and now isn’t mentioned, but anyway they’ve found him and decide to pay him a visit at his artifact room in his office. They break in as Indiana is talking with Helena after showing her the dial, she subsequently steals the half of the dial and a chase sequence ensues with Indiana and the Nazis through the city streets as a moon landing parade comes through. Predictably, despite the decrepit Indiana’s best efforts to not get roped into another adventure, you know one is right around the corner and soon he’s off chasing Helena as they must search through the annals of history to find the missing half of the dial, stop the Nazis once again and make some new friends along the way.

I’ve already expressed some thoughts on and contempt for the digital sheen this new film lives in that is a complete deviation from the look and feel of the original films. But the de-aging work on Ford straight outta the gate was not only a huge turn off for me, but looked actively bad. There are some close up CGI shots that naturally lacked details such as skin pores and hair, inconsistent mouth movements that didn’t fit the dialogue and these sequences, when cut in between shots of real people/actors, left me with a pit in my stomach right from the outset.  As far as the script and direction, they are mostly adequate but there are some cringe worthy one liners and Dial’s lack of humor proved to make it easily one of the worst actual scripts from the franchise. The pacing of the film was atrocious as for some mysterious reason, this installment was almost a half hour longer than any of the previous films, and it was terribly evident. But the editing did the pacing no favors and was particularly poor even among some of the action sequences, one chase scene in particular, was several minutes too long of repetitive back and forth bumper cart monotonous action. Turning to the actual acting, Ford slides back into the hat with ease, along with the rest of his friends and newcomers who all provide serviceable performances. I’m giving the film an additional point, it would’ve been a two without him, but Mads Mikkelsen is not only a terrific actor, but fills the shoes of a German/former Nazi mastermind to the tee. Even the original score, which should’ve been a slam dunk for Williams, is inconsistent with the main Raiders theme stopping and starting sporadically, in the middle of fights it cues up just to halt after a couple moments abruptly. On a final note, this film is semi-ridiculous, Indiana Jones as an individual, has always been grounded in reality, at least through the first three films. This film felt like it was trying to be some kind of superhero film, with Indiana Jones recklessly jumping out of cars onto motorcycles as if invincible, a horse chase through the subway and dodging oncoming trains, the villain should’ve died from a blow to the head in the start and several other stunts take this film into the supernatural. To say I disliked Dial Of Destiny is an understatement, this is the worst film critics score I’ve given in almost three years.

SUMMARY - How much enjoyment someone gets from this film probably depends on two things, your age and your critical scrutiny of film. If you love anything Indiana Jones just because it’s Harrison Ford donning the hat and whip again or you’re from a new generation and just want a decent adventure film, odds are you’ll be good to go. But there’s enough to criticize about The Dial Of Destiny that the crowd who adored and revere the originals might very well be rubbed the wrong way by this trip back in time.